Sunday, August 30, 2009

Hey Hanrahan!

Oh, you said Murphy-Hanrehan. Going back to the land of fresh water and seasons over Labor Day. Looking to slide into some singletrack near the wedding in Apple Valley, MN. No time for Levis-Trow, dammit. Now to locate a bike to steal.....

Thursday, August 27, 2009

White flight

Moving on up, to the Ceeeeeeee-Side! Fed up with the dickery of renting and the solitude of Pacific Grove, we pooled our scraps and up and purchased a home within easy access to burritos, bowling, grand lagunas, and ability to mtb with a quickness. We got a real nice weird Ed for a neighbor, I am looking forward to his tutelage but I'll miss chain-smoking Tammy and the newish halfway-house neighbors who freestyled about crack cocaine early one Sunday morning.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

A cure for the Monterey Malaise

Black Francis plays one hell of a solo show, which my comrades and I took in on Friday night down at the Henry Miller Library in Big Sur. I know my perspective is a little skewed from being piss-poor at going to shows lately, but still one of the better shows if seen. Hippie bullshit aside, there is a little "magic" down in the redwoods.

Listen to them screams!

We've been hitting the bikes hard lately, and another ride at Ft. Ord just wasn't an exciting prospect, so on Saturday we ventured to Pine Valley in the Ventana Wilderness area (aka the Scene of an earlier blog post involving toxicity, Clarence Carter, and singing Ween around the fire until 6 am). Good old sub-24 hour camping trip, had our household weekend activity cake and ate our wilderness too.

Little burn evidence but not too bad

Avert the gorgon's gaze!

Aww.....(maybe this cancels out the previous porn-related post?)

Friday, August 07, 2009

A Visit from Thee Porn Fairy

The inspiration for this post happened several weeks back, and since a robust 22 % of the google visitors to this blog were searching for either "beach fatties", "fatties on the beach", or "nudefatties", I feel a little guilty at not posting this smut earlier. My bad for titling a post about elephant seals "Nude Fatties on the Beach". I really feel terrible for the bait and switch on that post, guys (and girls?).

Anywho, there is a porn fairy on the loose in Pacific Grove. The truck parked down the street got some nice windshield-wiper decoration, our sweet Prizm was gone so everything got dropped straight on the curb.

BUTTMAN has arrived in Pacific Grove, "America's Last Home Town". I for one welcome Buttman to our fair burg, and can barely wait to see his costume for "Good Ol' Days".

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Happy 4th!

The recumbent riders have taken over the asylum, and they are wearing clown makeup. (seen in downtown Monterey out of my car window)

Thursday, July 02, 2009

4th of July is just one day closer to the death of my 20's

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens . . .
-Jenny Joseph

I like her style. Looking forward to tomorrow's return of a certain lady who keeps my life from nonchalance. I'll be working tomorrow on a Federal if you enjoy the freedom of marine spatial knowledge....thank a NOAA veteran.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

106 Degrees

Spent the weekend with some San Francisco friends at Don Pedro Reservoir, and holy snakes that is some hot weather. The kind of heat that leads 'Mericans to sit in parked cars with the engine on, blasting the AC, while camping. I do believe that is the solution to global warming, or at least it's a step in the right direction.

These pictures were mostly taken for the pleasure of D*Pow, who walks that thin line between car-free biking lifestyle and roosting the shit out of a mudhole on a dune buggy.
Making sure your dirt bike makes that angelic "BRAAAAAAAAP" sound. Over and over and over again. Tell you what, the BRAAP SHOP certainly put Hilmar on the map.

I would have loved to get a pic of the mulleteers at the next site over who owned this boat....but I also didn't feel like getting beaten to death 4 times for my troubles. Imagine the 80's and the dudes who ran game in the auto shop classes. Dan, I told them that you were interested in just such a boat, but it sounds like they need at least 2 of your Quads and and a sack of ditch weed in order to seal the deal.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Leaving Terrific Grove

Nothing like working yourself sillier for 6 months to earn a nice vacation, so off to Boise for 5 days and Portland for 5 more I went. Good times were had, including:

-A certain Mitch Giggles Ph. D helping to accelerate a near-streetfight by giving a bunch of cokey Boise residents Bruce Lee's patented thumbs-down to the face move. The bad guys left in handcuffs and our crew were left confused why the dudes felt so keen on staring down and getting in the face of a bunch of big ol' Wisconsin rowing and rugby dudes. A near miss for the next day's groom.

-a couple of days riding on the 8th street trails...Sidewinder and Crestline ring some bells. Hard climbs and fast descents, not so easy to climb when the little ring had a one chainsuck per revolution ratio. Didn't realize it had a gnarly tooth until I was done, so it goes when you borrow bikes.

-whitewater rafting on the Payette. Looks like I'm about to get clocked with paddle here:

-hiking at Eagle Creek to Tunnel Falls trail in Portland:

The night before Breezy had described the trail and drop-off as "precipitous". About 2 seconds later I had proclaimed Eagle Creek to be a figment of his imagination, and that it was actually just the name of some chewing tobacco he had seen. Turns out we were both right.

-Mountain biking at Browns Camp. I was too busy crashing, near-crashing, clipping out like a yellow-bellied sapsucker, having my rear tire slide 90 degrees from the trail off of wet roots, etc. to take any trail pictures. It was fun, but might be more my speed when it was drier rather than after the rain. Or maybe I just need to harden up. As a wiser man than myself once said, "opinions vary".

Did get a group pic at the waterfalls during the ride:

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Xtra Cycle...killah! Norman Bates

3 years in the making, we finally built up the Xtracycle frame that Katie received for turning English into French for Planet Bike. The bike was purchased off of CL for a smooth $150, so all in all a pretty cheap way to conjure up a cargo bike.

I gotta admit, slaving over a hot Specialized Crossroads brought me back to the pseudo-halcyon days of being a bike assembler at Budget, before Specialized decided they didn't want bike shops to sell their stuff if they weren't exclusive. The setup was hard to beat, separate from the retail stores so we could be as faded as we wanted to be while earning some decent dimes. Don't get much chance at the current job to blast Dr. Octagon and crank on canned beer. Then again, I can die happy knowing I'll never touch another Fuji "Marlboro Miles" Folding bike (collectible!), BikeE recumbent, or Raleigh M30 16" Ladies bike, of which the owner got a deal on several hundred.

Here's the (nearly) finished product:

Monday, June 08, 2009

Phil Collins is a hack

but Levon will set you straight.

Saturday, June 06, 2009

ISO Free charter jet to Madison.....

....last Sunday of every month only

The boys of the abandoned building are still doing it live. I'd pay big money at that kissing booth:

image courtesy of Djonnymac; that flutter in your heart courtesy of ZRCycles

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Dope is on the Way!

A recent flurry of inactivity might possibly end sometime soon. As a recap, this happened:

Turns out I had a class III sprain on all of the major ankle tendons. Recommended!

Which left me doing lots of this:

And very little of this:

But, I did a 2 hr bike ride at Ft. Ord yesterday with some MORCAN's and the cankle doth not protest. My friend Sand has taken over that area and his main man Poison Oak is doing well. My favorite section has been closed for improvements (housing), it appears The Man is also doing well.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


Remember how funny my cankle looked? Well, it is STILL funny, so funny in fact I can't walk without a limp and can't see mountain biking in any near future. In the words of Lorenzo Lamas, "NOT".

At least I got me a gel cast and a negative X-ray today. Called my friend Charlie to keep any and all creeps away from my vulnerable hoof until it's back to solid state.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Purple Cankles

Some things are good for my ankles, but soccer is not one of them. Like Momma always said....."rub some 'Tussin on that damn shit!"

Outer Foot

Inner Foot

I gotta spend the next three days in rivers gimping around like a wino. Can't complain about a trip to Arroyo Seco though, even if it is for class and we aren't camping overnight but driving back and forth both days. What the hell has happened when geology students don't camp overnight in the field, or even have gear for it? As an undergrad I might have been too hungover to process any new information, but at least I was there sipping brandy by the campfire. Dropped more than more share of "Come Sail Away" songbombs on my fellow students too.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Condor is the new Spirit Wolf

Snuck off to Pinnacles National Monument this weekend for a well-deserved day and a half break from the working sucker life. Our third trip there, and after getting shut out for California Condor viewing the first two, we got a snoot-full and a half this time. We watched a flock of 8 or 9 buzzing around and over our heads for about 2 hours Saturday.

Katie for scale

I could link to some good photography with telephoto lenses, but who needs that when you can see how a standard digital camera rolls. Pictures don't do their size justice at any rate.

Messing around in the talus caves

Modern day Atlas

Grade A harassling

Purdy as a vulture

Friday, March 27, 2009

Forget it's Shawtown

Friday. 4 pm. The kind of hour that working stiffs the world over dream about all week long. Not me though. You don't stay in the private dick racket by taking weekends off, and you sure as hell don't look forward to idle time when you got problems like mine. Alimony, taxes, high-arched name it, I've lived it...twice. Not to mention the owner of the firm, a real Dick, has been breathing down my neck all week about my lack of progress. I'd like to see him handle some of these mugs I'm trailing. Can't wait for the day I give ol' Oney his.

4:15 the phone rings. I stub out my cigarette into the overflowing coffee can and pick it up. Frantic voice on the line.....something about an underpass and a bad man with a bad plan....and a dame. Dammit it sounds like a setup, but I'm a sucker for the dames. One of these days they'll be the death of me, but not today. I gotta get even before I get dead.

I hop on my clunker and head up the ravine. Aguajito is a mess, rich people driving around in nice cars. Should have been my first sign to turn around. These kind of people shouldn't be here. Not now.

I get to the first bridge, right before the hospital, and a hunch tells me I'm about to drum up some business. Underneath the bridge something catches my eye. A plastic bag. I've seen this before, and I swore I could smell that scorched motor oil.

A closer look and it wasn't a body. But what it was sent chills down my spine. What kind of a sick fuck leaves moldy garlic bread for me to find? Where's the dame? And why do I kind of want pasta for supper?

On to the second bridge, where I knew it was Showdown City. I parked the Cross-Check out of site and tipped my bicyling helmet squash hat to cover my face. Something in the same bridge corner as the garlic bread grabbed my eye. A closer look.......and there she was! The dame looked a little roughed up, but was double bagged (our man is a confirmed Safeway shopper), and most importantly had beers.

Some days I don't even know what side I'm on anymore, but once in awhile, for that slimmest of moments, I remember how I got into this mess in the first place. Big things. Things like Justice. Dames. Cycling. Screaming down hwy 68 with yahoos driving the shoulders through corners. So if you see me out there, say a little prayer for me. And God help the day that comes when I finally catch the cat that's been shitting in my garden.